Thursday, February 09, 2006

How sweet!

My last day of work is tomorrow. That sounds weird...

I came into my office this morning and the three ladies in my office put a really nice card and a beautiful flower arrangement on my desk. And, my boss gave me a beautiful picture frame and a coffee mug with the school logo on it.

I really am going to miss working with these girls. I know that my new "career" is going to be very rewarding and full of thrills, spills and chills. But there is something that I just can't seem to wrap my head around.

I won't have to drive to work every morning.

Sure, there was September 2004 when I was between jobs. I managed to make it through that. I can't even remember what I did during the day. I must have done something productive. And I knew that I would eventually be offered the job I had applied for, so there was something to look forward to.

Oh, there's something to look forward to, but it's entirely different than anything I've ever done before! I have these little random thoughts creep into my brain that say,

"You're going to bring home a baby. And you're going to have to take care of it."

What have I gotten myself into? What have we gotten ourselves into? TC was telling me last night that he's a little scared about the whole situation, too. But, he's very good at not letting me see him sweat...keeps me calm.

Kinda like the time we were in Mississippi and someone broke into our house. We were a day's drive away, but the whole way back home, TC never showed one iota of stress. I figured that since he was calm and thought everything was ok, I shouldn't freak out.

Later he told me he was really freaking out on the inside.

This guy? He's hard to read sometimes. But, gosh, I love him! And I'm glad I have him to take care of me.

So, today is the eve of my last day at work. And tomorrow is our doctor's appointment and I will get a better idea of when we might expect this little one.

So much happening all at once.

And I still don't feel like a grown up. That's not a prerequisite, is it?


Amanda said...

Don't worry, everyone goes through that! It's scary, but then it's the most wonderful thing that could have ever happened to you. You'll still have moments of wondering what you got yourself into (Oh my gosh, I'm a parent for the rest of my life!), but then you think, "Yea, I'm a parent for the rest of my life! I'm so lucky!"

^starshine said...

Kinda feels like your first day of kindergarten. You know that you are a "big kid" but so afraid to venture into a new world. You know from that point forward all sorts of responsibilites will be tossed your way.

But you go in, discover you have new friends and learn to do things you never knew were possible!

Now taking care of a child is in now way comparable to learning to color within the lines...but that scared excited feeling is all the same.

Oh and not driving, totally rocks! The hubby last filled up the Trailblazer with gas over 3 weeks ago!

PitterPatter said...

I can't believe that we are grown ups! Wasn't it just yesterday we were in high school fighting over some boy who turned out not to be worth a moment of either of our time? Wow! I want you to know you put a cath in my throat and a tear in my eye with your sweet words about TC. First because I know you both so well and have known you both since before your first date and also because I can totally identify with that feeling.

Well, this is getting kind of long for a comment on your post so I'll just say, I love you. I CAN'T WAIT to meet pebble and don't worry, you and TC are going to be fabulous parents (and I expect you to tell me the same very soon when I'm having the same doubts and worries). Love you honey!

Mrs. Flinger said...

I SOOOO don't feel like a grown up. I have a kid! I teach at a college! When did this happen?

It's so normal, girlie. Change is scary, even the good kind can be scary in a good way. It's strange to not get a shower until 12 most days since our mornings are so full of feeding/playing/etc. But ya know? It rocks, too. Most days. :-)